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Sunday, May 15, 2011

Tera (13)may, sabkuch tera


Some times the Love is so strong that you just cant take care of longing just by the photograph, you want to convert this longing into meeting...And this is what was happening with me...
keeping away from Guruji for such a long time want making eyes swollen, coz would end up crying throughout every night...
And so couldn't just take it anymore when i made up my mind to be there with him physically on his birthday come what may..And the whole trip went as if also wanted me around :)
I just called one of my friends if he would like to accompany me and to my surprise he agreed instantly and not only that, he also booked our tickets...we flew 2 days before the birthday and that made the trip awesomer..
reached air port and decided will go to city and reach ashram for the satsang... so we boarded a bus till majestic..and what a wonder it was to find an lcd behind ever seat in the BTMC bus Wyfi enabled...played games till we reach majestic....it was hot in Bangalore and had not eaten anything so my head was spinning. So we decided to take a bus to bnshankari directly instead of roaming in the city..
In this bus to Banshankari where i was sitting an old aunty came an stud, i felt really bad and offered her my seat. was just standing there when another aunty sat on my luggage , i just looked at her and smiled, so she asked me if it was my luggage, when i said yes! she said why did u not scream at me for sitting o ur luggage, i just said because there was nothing that would break. And she was so impressed that she asked me if i had lunch ad when i said no she invited me to her house to have food first and go to ashram.....
i myself was amazed at my this reaction , i was myself wondering how i could manage to be so calm when my pitta is so aggravated. Guruji just does it,i was smiling through out even when my head was thumping with severe pain and people around me wanted to talk to me...lol
The journey to reach ashram was like crossing seven sea. with bad back ache and head ache travelled through buses and then hired an auto which broke down in between as well...
but mind was calm some satisfaction was there...
Finally we reached ashram, and what i see is the satsang had just started , we ran to VM and what i see is HIM....aaahhh ...what a feeling as if the purpose of my life is complete...was just looking at his completely magical existence...
when the satsang got over and he left everyone around me said pray for accommodation the housing people are not giving one. BUT he wanted me to be there, i went to the reception and i got room in Aparna :) without any chik chik...everyone was surprised ....but he wanted me to be there... and m room mate was a senior teacher from Oman...we developed a warm feeling instantly..
I was like getting drunken in the JOY. was smiling without a reason was happy and jumping just like that....it was like the freshness of the air and purity of the environment was flowing with my blood reaching every cell of my body rejuvenatory it ...
Met Rajesh Bhaiya and spending those few moments with him was like reconnecting....learnt shlokas from Geeta...And the one thing he said hit home for me . He told me that in a very small gathering Guruji said 'Pata hai hamre jeevan ka uddeshya kya hona chahiye...ishwar ki seva aur ishvar ki prapti' and then he said'waise aur koi uddeshya hai kya?' :)
and i just felt yahi to yahi to....just closed my eyes and could see his smiling face...and suddenly my eyes became teary and a big big smile appeared on my face...and couldn't just resist hugging bhaiya...and he hugged me back like i was his most delicate baby....what a feeling it was as if Guruji himself was there for me...
and then came the time to go and be with the lord of my life again...the satsang time...
i was standing outside waiting for him and he came stud in front of me talking to someone.....and i remembered during one of the cry nights i prayed to guruji chahe kuchh mat do par atleast mujhe aapko niharne ka mauka to do...and here he was ...and as it is said in hindi aankhe bhar kar unhe dekh sakti thi ab....
In the satsang what he said was like only for me....sitting there in VM reciting Shlokas from geeta i felt as if m in the times of SHANKARACHARYA....felt so connected to the sourse...and the Guruji said Yogi ko kuchh karne ki jarurat nahi hai bas vishram kare, aur ye arjun ko krishna ne kahan tha aur main tumhe keh raha hoon...AIE GA!! that was it my whole body was having goosebumps...
Mom had sent laddoos for him and i just could understand when to give them...so when he was leaving at night for tripura his car slowed down in front of me and i held the box towards him ahd he instantly grabbed it in a way that he held my hand ohhhhhh!!!! i was gone i just stood in total wonder what a feeling it was after ages i was feeling it all...getting it all...And came his birthday. morning long kriya followed by Dev pooja and guruji getting BHav what else would u ask for. It was like LOVE sitting in front of you....
He went to city.where he celebrated his birthday during the day..Wait for the evening for the grand celebrations.I had heard that a 21 feet long cake was made...lol ...we people are very god at exaggerating.The cke was of 200kg huge one around 14 feet long.
And then he came.. What majestic walk!! Aaahhh!! satsang happened and i wanted to look the best for him n i was feeling very beautiful as well...;) and i wanted him to notice it.
But i was wondering how could this happen in sucha huge crowd..And then only he said ' main sabko personal darshan doonga aaj chahe 12 baj jae 1 baj jae'.
and he started walking in the crowd.. initially i was so scare because i had seen even a small crowd would just pounce on him and now there were around 20,000 people sitting...But he id GOD!!!in true sense.. he was walking through sucha huge crowd but no stampede no injuries.when he as at the end of the sitting area people in the middle and in the begining were sitting patiently for him..i as watching from an elevated platform....and my god , there was not a single moment when his smile was gone r any time he was feeling irritated... he was meeting everyone with so much enthusiasm receiving all the gifts...
Aditi was standing with me when guruji was to come in our area...we were standing far from the crowd..and she said aage chalo guruji age aaenge and i us sai unhone kahan ai na sab khud ake milenge to wo khud hi hamar paas aaenge..
And guruji came near the place where we were standig andinstead of coming towards us, he turned.. but before going he just turned and looked at me and gave me a look as if saying i like it ;)
and it lie always whenever i have dressed up for him he has alwaysacknowledged it and this time also he did it..
and in just 10 min e came back we were still standing there only and guruj came in front o us himself and divya gave hi the gift mom had sent for him and he shook it and asked kya hai ismain kholke dekho...ohhhh felt oh my god! he is coming in our line after meeting around 5-6 thousand people and still he is so energetic o enthusiastic and so child like excited about the birthday gifts.. i was in wonder through out...the people who were making sure the crowd dont pounce were totally exhausted and drenched in sweat but Guruji ha was fresh as just out from a nice shower...
and with same enthusiasm he met rest of the 8-10 thousand people waitig for him...no human on this planet could do this what he did.and not only this when he was leaving at night he was still so fresh..not a single sign of fatigue showed on his face...
and it was like Love is in the air ...i danced like never before...left behind all the identities and just dance in his love and then tears of gratitude started to flow ....was just wondering how he makes all your wishes come true....there were times when i was crying out of pain and longing and now i was crying out of love and gratitude and these tears were so sweet :)
a trip full of bhakti aisaa lagta hai jaise kahi kuch mil sa gaya hai..jaise radha si ban gi hoon...jahan na greed hai na jealousy hai na hi anger hai aur na hi insecurity hai..bas pyar hi pyar hai ..jahan dil sirf dena chahtahai..bohot kuch sabko.jaise lagta hai kuch mera nai hai fir bhi sab mera hi to hai...
mhara re Giridhar gopal dusra na koi...and ever since getting complements that have become more pretty ....
Are koi kajal lao ji .,mohe kala tika lagao ji
unki chhab se lagu mai to pyari