Sounds of the Silence

When I decided to go for this 4 day silence retreat with The Art of Living, I didnot know it will make me fall in love with the silence so deeply.

I always thought falling in love with someone's voice ( my husband being a voice artist) or speech is easy but falling in love with silence is bit tricky. As the silence between two people generally comes out of awkwardness, anger or  through discomfort.

But here in markal in fell in love with a silence which had so many sounds yet triggered a profound silence within.

For so many years I ignored the conversations that the nature was having with me as I was busy listening to the useless chatter in my mind  and the cell phone took all my attention trying to silent the chatter.

When the phone and the tongue were on flight mode, I could here the sweet conversations.

The birds woke me up with their chirping. And the freshly rained earth smelled heavenly. The dawn was exceptionally beautiful with the darkness slowly fading away. I wondered where was I before this? Or I have woken up in a new relm.

Meditation with the background music of the rains transported me to a place I loved visiting ... A place of complete nothingness.

Every bite tasted delicious as if the only ingredient was love. I wondered whether it was for real!!!

It was all green around me and as I walked, the small creepers on the ground smiled  to me with their small leaves and tiny flowers. 
Butterflies jumped from one plant to another. As I walked in the green-lands the butterflies hidden in the petals started to fly making me feel like a princess in Disney's cartoons. 

Never saw so many shades of green in one place.

If there were flowers as tiny as a grain they had butterflies as tiny as sesame seed. Nature has its way..when I was looking at the marvel a bee buzzed by making its existence felt.. and I saw there were 100s of different bees, beetles, bugs and butterflies around me whom I had ignored for  some mindless stuff. 

The plants talked to me , the flowers smiled at me and the rains made me dance.. the happiness I was feeling in this silence was full of sounds.

The birds started to sing, and the frog added some zing. The snails danced and the millipede shied in it's ring. Witnessing all this my bosom swelled with love and the only thing came in mind was " what a wonderful world's.

As I was watching this a small kitten jumped near my plate and meowed with those innocent eyes.. what she wanted was not food but someone to put it's paw on... The fur ball was a naughty one  who made me realize that innocence is so attractive. Sat there her elder sibling with maturity showing through the scars on its face.  

As I was observing them the river made some noise to make it's presence felt... The flowing water took so much from within. Though the water was flowing but mind became still.

And this deep conversation with the river was interrupted by the sound of the utensils. It was time for food... 

And soon the course was over but no words were wanting to come out and I realized I am in love... Love with this silence. As the conversations in this silence were more meaningful then the conversations I had with words.

I was not only in love but addicted to the sounds of the silence. 

MY DADDY STRONGEST!!

You were the first one to hold me

This is what mom told me

But i don’t know what went in my mind

I remember not being so kind.

The nights when I recall

When sweetly you would respond to my call

Resist was I though

For your love and care I kept saying no

Your unbiased love is the reason

I happily saw so many wonderful seasons.

You made me see the beauty

Helped me understand my duty.

Was it for my family or my nation

You taught me how to handle it all without aggression.

You knew it all

From biology to fall

A human encyclopedia

For me it was you off all

I remember our early morning math’s session

You never lost any patience

When I failed you stood by me

Hope and success you helped me see.

You gave us everything

Never you made us feel that we have nothing

Even when in life you were really struggling.

You are my super hero

Coz problems just run away when they see you coming.

Thank you Pappa for you being you

Coz none could have done a better job at what you do.

Today is Father’s day for me

All the countless beautiful moments spent with you is what Padwa reminds me.

Though this is the first time i m not there with you on this day

But we know two of us are bonded for so many lifetimes in its own special way

Every Woman

I am the Shakti

  the woman of power

I am the Jagjanani

  the generator and the life sustainer

I am Amba

  the committed one

I am Chandi

  the killer of demons

I am the Durga

  the one with valour

I am Gauri

  the queen of beauty

I am Saraswati

  the nightingale

I am Laxmi

 the doll of gold

I am Gargi and Maitrai

  the most knowledgeable

I am Sita

   the most loyal of all

I am the one that flows through life

I am the one creates new life

I am the one who protects it all

I am the one who beautifies it right

I am the happiness of the creation

and the reason for all the celebrations

I AM THE GODDESS.....!!!!

I WANT TO GROW OLD WITH YOU 

Every-time I sit to write about Him
the words are just not right they seem.
     coz what in him i see
     is much much bigger than sea
He is smart and loves himself a lot.
has a dialog ready for every plot.
      His Pjs are his trade mark
      which make any moment bright which was dark.
His plans bigger than life and impresses all
implementing them everyone has a ball.
       he motivates and ethus everyone and make their vision wide
       but inside he is a chhotusa ,badmash child.
He is a hero for everyone
but from commitments he fears and run.
      He is a father when its night
      becomes a boss when the day shines bright
Becomes a lover in the time alone
and a colleague when talking over the phone
      He makes me smile and makes me cry.
      when he stares admiringly, I shy.
he is my energy booster
also my stress buster.
     he is a family and a friend too.
     though the time spent alone are very few.
He brings out  the best in me

I love him next to thy.
     He makes everything that's gone wrong
     with him i wish to sing all the love songs.
how do i express my love fully
coz everything i write looks dull and seems silly

LET GO......

Long are the hair

where lies the mist of darkness

through them i see

The face so bright

The eyes that of burning embers

and the that radiating glow

the smile that make anyone skip

a beat in the heart

when i see him, want to get merged

in the warmth

the hold so reaffirming

that life is short don't waste it so.

the touch that says

don't be afraid to fall. I 'm here to hold

Long and long,I long for him

His presence is so soothing ,I love that angelic being.

But angels don't stay in hands

they are just the divine lights

who tell life not about

running after things

its about realizing..

I too am a glowing beam.

I realize ,I understand the whole thing

and then again I get lost in the crowd

People run here and there

with them me too

b'coz I forget

The purpose of my life is not to hold on to but to let go.... 

Basking in the Grace

Was reading my own old post'The Journey so far'', and felt its been a long time since i have written anything....

this is the story of a looonnnggg wait which finally ended on 16th jan. since i had heard the chantings my soul yearned to chant them. its the Guru Pooja chantings. Ever since i heard Bhanu Di chanting these beautiful verses for the great gurus who have been who are and who would be, my lips wanted to move with the rhythm.

It is said that u do all the courses when your TIME comes. And i was finally applying for the GP course after 4-5 years of wait.The day i had registered for the Guru Pooja course i was on the top of the world. The very idea of going to finally sing the praises i was filled with all joys...My application was accepted and i got the invite for the course...BUT when the course was suppose to happen i had to be present in Ludhiana for a very big and important assignment and couldn't make it to the course....it was feeling so bad as if you are dying of thirst you get the glass filled with water but when you are about to take the sip the glass falls down and the water spills over....Thought had asked guruji that wanna do the course with the money i have earned not by borrowing from someone, and don't have enough yet,so guruji is making me wait..

But then the heart wanted it even more badly... had promised myself nothing else matters more than me learning the chanting..

And the day came when got call from ashram asking me whether i will be going to ashram for the course that was to happen in January.And i was again filled with joy just by the mere thought of doing it this time...and in just few hours my friend confirmed that she too will be attending it and the tickets were booked...:) But you know the heart always doubts the positive...i was just not making it public thinking dont know may be this time as well something will pop up at the last moment and wont be able to attend...as the winters were at its peek and and the trains were getting canceled and flights too...

But the day came when we were suppose to leave from Delhi to Bangalore,and couldn't just believe ,the temperature had suddenly high..no fog in the atmosphere and our train was on time...the journey was awesome ,had super fun.reached Bangalore, but there was still something going in my mind, ''doubting the positive''.we all got down to take out money for the donation of the course, from ATM..my sister was to fund me for this course and i had reminded her day before to transfer the money in my account which i didn't know whether she had, as had not talked to her since.I asked the cab driver to stop near an ATM and called my sister up to check whether she has deposited money in my account so that i can withdraw it... to my dismay she said she hadn't. I was in complete confused state as i knew i had not enough money in my account and was wondering how i was to pay the donation amount for the course ..I just Prayed to Guruji and when in the ATM. put my debit card punched my pin and the amount... I was waiting for  Not Enough BALANCE message to pop up on the screen. But to my surprise the money came out.. i couldn't believe it.. then i just remembered that I had asked Guruji that i will do the gurupuja course with the money I had earned.. and he made it happen... Its still a mystery from where the money came in my account.. but it happened and my faith strengthens with the passing time

This is the night
 The night so blue
Heart filled with hope and light
I sit with teary eyes remembering you
I close my eyes
And i see you
I open them wide
But there is only dew
I smile that you might be looking
Close my eyes feeling you 'll be hugging
But the smile just fade and lips start to drop
For just a glimpse of yours i hope
The days pass by
With them me too
I sit in the dark
Hoping for a beginning that's new
Longing  gets converted in tears
Flowing on my cheeks
Role down on my neck till i weep.....